Garrus Vakarian: Sharp shooter, not Babysitter
by Defiant.Anjeru
Summary: Short drabbles on Garrus' relationship with Shepard and Kaidan's twin daughters, Riley and Rhiannon. He would never understand humans but a turian never surrenders...Humorous/bits of fluff, all for our favorite turian, Garrus Vakarian.
1. Outnumbered

**A/N: **This was requested by my very first 100th reviewer, I hope you all enjoy it though! I had trouble writing a full one shot of this, so here is a drabble of Garrus/Tali babysitting Shepard's twins. I may build on it later, but for now, I liked it the way it was. :)

Disclaimer: Bioware.

* * *

Spirits. How had he allowed Shepard to talk him into this? The mission was clear, and at least she had given him reinforcements, but as a Turian he had the good sense to realize when he was in over his head. A Turian would rather die than surrender; he didn't see it going that far. Insanity? Possibly. Death? Nah.

Speak of the devil. There went one of them now, half stumbling through the entertainment room of Shepard and Kaidan's apartment. His mandibles fluttered as Tali followed behind it, his eyes taking stock of his surroundings warily. Where had the other one gotten to? He started to take a step forward, only to stumble over something in his way. It fell and suddenly a loud cry was making him cringe, the squeal both annoying and painful.

Apparently the other had been standing or sitting at his feet. Spirits. How could these things get so close without him realizing?

"Pick her up. She is just whining. She'll settle once you hold her." Tali informed him with an amused chuckle as she went about following the other one.

Garrus shook his head, again wondering how he had gotten talked into this as he bent down and gathered the toddler into his arms a little awkwardly. It squirmed and then stared up at him with wide eyes, exact mirrors of Shepard's; it was analyzing him and he stared back, at least thankful it had stopped screaming.

"Do you even know which is which?" Garrus grunted cocking his head and leaning it down to stare at the one in his hands a little more closely.

"Why don't you ask Riley? She's the one you're holding." Garrus glanced up to see Tali scoop a squealing, squirming mass of limbs. "Rhiannon just loves her Auntie Tali, doesn't she?" She spun it around, before she set it, laughing, back on the floor.

The one in his hands decided on warfare, suddenly reaching its chubby hands up and grabbing ahold of his mandibles. He grunted and used his talons to pry off its fingers, setting the pouting creature back on the floor. It stared up at him, nearly silver gaze narrowed slightly as if contemplating what tactic it would use against him next. It apparently decided he wasn't worth its time, turning and running off toward Tali and its sister.

Garrus scoffed. Babysitting. He didn't babysit.

"I am not changing it. That's all you." He said as he moved to a more defensible position on the sofa. Riley came to sit at his feet, one chubby hand clinging to his leg with its other hand's thumb jammed in its mouth.

Tali laughed as she sat on the sofa beside him, plopping Rhiannon into her lap and ruffling its dark very-Alenko-like hair. Tali – now Tali babysat. She seemed in her element, much to his surprise. How he had got conned into this, he couldn't recall.

"You _could _use their names, you know." She was smiling; he could hear it in her voice.

He dropped his gaze to Riley and she looked up at him, smiling at him even as she sucked on her thumb. Okay, so maybe they were a little cute. For fleshy, pink, squishy creatures. Rhiannon tumbled off Tali's lap and climbed into Garrus'. She stood, awkwardly, on him, her chubby little hands finding hold on his mandibles; why did they keep doing that?

"Gawwus." She grinned.

"Gawwus, Gawwus!" Riley chimed in then, just after her sister.

"…Shepard is going to kill you." Tali said after a moment, voice slightly hesitant.

Very carefully, Garrus took the toddler's fingers from his mandibles, turning his head to look at Tali. "What did I do now?"

"First words, Garrus, they're supposed to be mom, or dad, something of the sort. She is going to kill you when she finds out _you_ were not only Riley's first word, but Rhiannon's as well."

Garrus sighed. "I will never understand humans."

"Gawwus!"

"Gawwus!"

Okay…he could babysit. If he wanted to. Riley and Rhiannon certainly were charming…for toddlers. Probably got that from their mother. Spirits help them all.


	2. Incoming Call

**A/N:** Continuing…hope you will all like drabbles I add to this. :D

Disclaimer: Bioware

* * *

His omni tool beeped. "Incoming video call from Councilor Shepard."

Inwardly, he groaned. This had to be about the other night, when he had helped Tali babysit the twins. One of the two of them had probably given him up by now, if not both. He tapped a talon on a key and the holographic video screen came up, but Shepard was nowhere to be seen. Instead it was the two fleshy creatures, jumping up and down at, what he assumed was, Shepard's omni tool. Their eyes were excited, black curls bobbing as they reached with little hands for the camera.

"Gawwus! Gawwus!"

"Gawwus!"

"Uh, hey there." He said cautiously.

The view swiveled and he found himself looking at Shepard, who had a very amused expression on her features. She cocked an eyebrow. "Something you neglected to tell me, Vakarian?"

"Tch," he scoffed, glancing away. "Should've known the squirts would rat me out."


	3. Note Stay Calm

**Note: Stay Calm**

* * *

He couldn't decide if it was a miracle or curse that Shepard had asked him to help Tali babysit the girls again. However, as the night progressed, he was leaning more towards a curse. No – he was assured it was a curse the moment Tali said she needed to step out for some supplies that Shepard had forgotten to get before leaving that night. So here he sat, alone, with the two human children.

What was he supposed to do with them? It wasn't like he could pull out his sniper rifle, assemble it, and teach them how to shoot with it. Shepard probably wouldn't appreciate that, never mind Alenko.

They were seated at least. He could appreciate that much. They had what Shepard had called dolls, chattering away in some language his translator couldn't understand. Tali had called it 'baby talk'. Whether it was gibberish or not, Garrus found it fascinating that the 18-month-olds seemed to perfectly understand each other.

He leaned back on the sofa and allowed himself to relax a bit, though a prepared Turian always kept himself partially alert. A couple of minutes ticked by as they played, before an nearly gag-inducing odor hit him. He jerked up and looked down at Riley who now stood at the edge of the sofa, grunting with a strained expression. Was she hurt?

He narrowed his eyes and leaned forward just slightly, sniffing the air only slightly. Then nearly recoiled back over the edge of the sofa. "What is that smell?" He exclaimed.

Riley's expression relaxed for a moment and then she plopped on her butt, Garrus nearly gagging when he heard a very distinct 'squish' of sound. He fired up his omni tool and linked to Tali.

"What is it Garrus?" She chuckled, as if amused. "I have only been gone for ten minutes."

"I think one of them…" He scrunched his nose. "…needs changed."

"Then change her?" He nearly sputtered as she laughed the words out.

"I don't…even know –"

"Garrus, it's not that hard. Get the wipes and a diaper from the baby cabinet – the one Shepard showed you – and lay her down. Take off her pants, open her diaper, use the wipes to clean her, then put the new one on her. Simple as that."

"Tali – "

"I'll be back shortly, Garrus. Good luck." She chuckled as she shut off the comm call, making Garrus scowl with annoyance.

Guess he didn't have a choice, did he? "Stay put squirt," he mumbled as he got up to go the cabinet, pulling out the mentioned items, having to recall what was what for a brief moment. He went back to Riley, double checking to make sure Rhiannon was still playing (which she was – thanks the spirits). Setting the diaper and package of wipes on the sofa, he grabbed a wriggling Riley and laid her down on the floor, fumbling to get her sweat pants off of flailing legs. She was giggling and he was scowling; why did the little buggers always have to make things so difficult?

He shook his head, his mandibles fluttering as the smell intensified. He could swear his eyes were watering. Was it always this bad? "Hold still," he grunted out as he set her legs down, using talons to peel open the diaper using the little tab-like things on each side. Cautiously, he pulled the diaper open and nearly keeled over at the sight, mixed with the smell. "What is _that_?" He exclaimed. Riley only giggled.

_Stay calm, Vakarian. You faced the Reapers, this should be child's play. Suck it up._

Shuddering, he hooked her ankles and lifted the dirty diaper from under her. Keeping ahold of her, he reached over for the wipes, fumbling to get them open while he suppressed the urge to gag. How did Shepard do this? The stench alone was bad enough! But cleaning it up…? So much worse. He did the best he could, setting the dirty wipes with the dirty diaper, before sliding the fresh diaper under her butt and resealing it, like the other had been. The pants came next, but she made it a challenge, making him nearly have to wrestle her down to get them back on.

Finally, the whole ordeal was over and Riley ran off while Garrus turned to clean up the mess, only to find Rhiannon trying to run off with it. "HEY! NO! Give me that!" He exclaimed, fumbling to get it back from her before she dropped it onto the carpet. Miraculously, he retrieved it without incident. Using the little tabs, he shut the diaper and went to toss it into the trash. He made a note that Shepard should probably incinerate it.

He hoped he would never be subjected to such torture again. Unlikely, but he could hope, couldn't he?


	4. Clearly

**Clearly**

* * *

"Gawwus, pway!" Riley said, shoving one of those dolls into his hand, her wide silver-blue eyes staring at him.

He gripped it with his talons and turned it around, looking it over. Very clearly a human doll, he noted. The same features, but with longer hair than he had ever seen on Shepard. And very clearly not dressed in armor. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Pwwwwaaaaaayyy." Rhiannon whined as she lay on her back, kicking her legs as she toyed with a nearly identical doll.

"They want you to play house with them Uncle Garrus," Shepard chuckled from the sofa; for the life of him, he couldn't understand why he was here when Shepard was home. But when his best friend asked for a visit, he wasn't going to say no. As good a reason as any, he supposed.

"Play house?" He echoed. His mandibles tightened as he tried to think of what exactly that meant.

"Don't Turian children play with toys?" Shepard asked curiously, propping a chin in her hand as he turned to look at her, her silver-blue eyes looking at him curiously, that odd red hair framing her face.

"Clearly our species don't have the same definition of what a toy is," he drawled, mandible fluttering as he suppressed a chuckle.

"Clearly."

"Pwwwwaaaay Gawwus!" Riley demanded, louder this time as she plopped herself into his lap making him grunt.

"You better do as they say." Shepard chuckled. He rolled his eyes and went to move Riley, but then Rhiannon came flying at him next, tackling both he and her sister to the ground. "I told you."

"Clearly." He grunted as the toddlers burst into laughter.


	5. Tag

**Tag**

* * *

Riley and Rhiannon were darting across the room after each so fast that Garrus almost had a hard time keeping a close eye on them. He stared, wondering what it was that the children were up to. Shepard watched him, an amused smile on her lips as she sipped her coffee.

"Intrigued, Garrus?" She chuckled a moment later.

"I admit I lack enough human knowledge to know what it is they are doing," he said after a moment, tilting his head ever so slightly, mandibles flaring out. Riley nearly tackled her sister, slapping a hand on her butt and shouting 'tag', before she darted off again. How children so young, barely even two, could move so athletically was clearly beyond him.

"They're playing tag." Shepard sipped her coffee again, trying not to laugh.

"What in the spirits is tag?" He asked, looking at her with a Turian expression she had come to recognize as curiosity; years around the Turian had taught her how to read him.

Kaidan chose that moment to waltz into the kitchen where Shepard and Garrus were seated, setting a hand on his wife's shoulder and leaning down to kiss the top of her head. Garrus rolled his eyes, making the both of them chuckle. "It's a game," Kaidan said as he moved away to make himself a cup of coffee.

Garrus looked back at the two creatures as Rhiannon tackled Riley and rolled across the floor with her. "A war game? For training?"

Shepard sputtered, choking on her coffee. Kaidan's eyes widened as he laughed, smacking a hand on her back to calm her coughing fit. "Maker NO!" She said after a moment.

Garrus shrugged. "You never know."


	6. Lighten Up

**Lighten Up**

* * *

They were doing it again, Garrus noticed. He and Tali were asked to watch the kids during one of their visits, when a vid call had requested Shepard's presence at a convening of the Galactic Council. Naturally Kaidan had gone along, being a Spectre assigned to her protection. That left him and his Quarian friend to keep watchful eyes on the kidlets – who were busy playing that game…the one Shepard and Kaidan had told him was called 'Tag'.

Riley seemed intent on capturing her sister, but Rhiannon was giving her a run for her money. They were, amusingly, doing laps around the couch. Squealing.

"Get her Riley!" Tali cheered as she leaned over the back of the couch to watch the two run by.

"What exactly is the point of this game?"

"Huh?" Tali raised her face and looked at him. "To have fun? Why else?"

"That seems rather…pointless." He blinked, his mandibles fluttering slightly at his confusion. "Surely there must be more to it than that."

Riley took the moment of distraction to smack her hand on Tali's behind, laughing, "Tag!" before she ran off. Tali chuckled and rolled off the couch to chase down the munchkin, Rhiannon plopping herself beside Garrus' feet where he sat at the dining room table.

"Quarians play 'tag' as well?" He asked as he set a hand on Rhi's head and ruffled the dark curls. She giggled and he felt a smile in answer.

"We have to have something to do on the Flotilla as children, you know." Tali caught Riley under her arms and lifted her, setting the little girl on her shoulders before coming back to where they were seated. "Now more than ever, being back on our homeworld, children need some fun. Lighten up Garrus."

"Hey – " he protested, giving her a look.

Rhiannon turned her face up to Garrus, pointed at him with a little finger. "Whighten up, Gawwus."

His mouth gaped as Tali burst into laughter.


	7. Piggy Back

"Was it really necessary to bring me along, Shepard?"

"Of course, Garrus! You're family," she slapped him on the back with a grin. "You should know that by now." He rolled his eyes, but he could feel his mandibles twitching in the semblance of a smile. "Not to mention, I'm sure the galactic peace is boring the hell out of you."

"True."

"Don't let her fool you," Kaidan chuckled from where he sat beside them. "This is all the girl's influence. Can't go a day without the girls demanding they see their Uncle Garrus."

He could feel himself grinning, in the way that Turians did, his eyes moving to where the two-year-olds chased each other around through the grass. Their feet were bare, and he couldn't help but wonder how it felt to have that strange plant against their soft, fleshy skin. Humans. So…squishy. Especially their offspring. He could at least be thankful that Shepard had her children after the Reaper threat had been quelled.

"It's hard not to love me."

"Okay, Vakarian, don't get a big head now."

Shepard laughed, leaning back on her elbows. "Too late for that."

"Hey now – " He was cut off as he looked as Shepard, one of the twins having jumped onto his back. Her little arms wrapped around his neck and she giggled, bouncing on her toes behind him.

"Piggy bwack, Gawwus! Piggy bwack!"

"What do you say, Riley?" Shepard gave her daughter a stern, but playful look.

"Pwease?"

"Good girl. Now – Garrus – you heard her, piggy back."

"Do I get a say in this?" He asked, though he already knew the answer, carefully grasping Riley's thighs and standing.

"Of course not. Better you learn that quickly," Kaidan laughed, though his victory didn't last long as Rhiannon jumped on his back and demanded the same of him.

"Piggy bwack daddy! Pwease!"

He smiled, a smile Garrus could only call heartwarming; Kaidan was meant to be a father – that much he could see. Together he and Kaidan tromped around the park with the girls on their backs. Turns out, he was happy Shepard invited him.


	8. Funny Faces

The girls had been playing quietly, Garrus should have been suspicious, but he let them be, instead streaming through some videos on his visor. Last he'd checked they'd been playing with those dolls – barbies, Shepard had called them. He shouldn't have been surprised to find Asari and Quarian barbies, but he had been, at least until Shepard had whispered that she'd had them specially made to remind the girls of their Aunts – Liara and Tali.

Where was his? Figure of him, he meant. He didn't need a barbie.

There was a screech and Garrus flinched, switching the video off. Crying and screaming ensued next and he jumped up from the couch, moving down the hall, fingers itching for his rifle. Whoever had dared to hurt his nieces – again, information provided by Shepard – would pay dearly.

He didn't expect to see the girls crying, each yanking on the other's hair.

"I want Tali!" Rhiannon cried, yanking harder.

Riley yanked back, screaming, "No! I want her!"

"Hey, hey - " he stooped down, carefully grabbing their hands and releasing the hair clutched within them. They both plopped down and started crying in full force.

He wasn't sure what to do, but something had to be done, or he was sure he'd go deaf. Small, yes, but loud. Well – desperate times called for desperate measures, as Shepard often said.

What was that thing Alenko did? Oh yes, funny faces. How would a Turian make a funny face? He pondered it for a moment, then just said what the hell – Turian faces were already funny compared to human faces – and flared his mandibles at them, putting his talons up like ears he'd seen on those human animals – dogs, he thought.

They stopped crying abruptly. Blinked a few times, then erupted into a fit of giggles.

Well. At least it had worked.

"Gawwus has a funny face," Riley snickered.

"Do it again, again!" Rhiannon demanded.

Garrus found himself unable to resist.


	9. Special

When the twins were three – and very active talkers – Garrus was presented with a very awkward question, delivered by none other than the mischievous little Riley. Rhiannon had merely nodded, but remained an apt listener, as eager for an answer as her sister.

"So?"

"Ah – I don't think, that, is well..." He trailed off, still at a little bit of a loss for words.

"C'mon Garrus!" Riley snapped, almost impatiently, her lips turned up in a mulish pout. Over the months, the girls had managed to figure out how to say his name properly, and yet, he kind of missed the old way they'd say it – Gawwus. Freakin' cute.

They were still cute, of course. Just slightly more vexing.

"Yeah Garrus. You can tell us!" Rhiannon piped in with a grin.

Really, why were they even asking him this? Who had _even_ told them about this, or given them this idea? He'd bet Tali had put them up to this. His Quarian friend had always held a bit of a nosy, mischievous streak.

"No."

"No?" Riley's pout turned into a grin. "Then can I be your girlfriend?"

"Me too, me too!" Rhiannon demanded, sliding up closely to her sister.

Spirits. Just when he thought he had a handle on this child thing, they threw him for a loop. _A big one. _

"Do you even know what a girlfriend is?" He asked, his mandibles fluttering in a half amused grin.

"Momma said it's a spwecial lady," Rhiannon supplied.

"And we're spwecial, aren't we?" Riley asked, again pouting as if afraid he'd say they weren't.

Garrus sighed, then chuckled, patting the girls' heads carefully with his hands. "Yes, yes you are."


	10. Sounds Familiar

Garrus had not realized the extent of the little children's manipulation capabilities until one evening, an evening that had started out smoothly enough with a dinner invitation sent by Shepard and Kaidan. He had spent so much time with his best friend and her husband since the Reaper War had ended, becoming an important part of their children's lives as well, that he had not expected anything out of the ordinary.

It had started out normally enough.

They chatted throughout dinner, discussing the current going-on's of their lives. Had opted to remain chatting once dinner was over and the girls had been unleashed upon completion of their meal to wreak havoc on the apartment; at least that's how described how they played. Often times, when they finally wore out enough to fall asleep, the mess left in their wake could only be called a disaster.

They had been chatting for only a few moments when Rhiannon walked up and tugged on his sleeve. "Uncle Garrus, come dance with us!" She demanded.

Garrus turned his blue eyes on Shepard, as if to tell her to elaborate. "They got this new dancing game from out last visit to the Citadel."

Kaidan was laughing behind his cup of coffee and Garrus held no delusions as to why; Turians dancing? Not exactly what they were made for. "I think I will pass," Garrus told Rhiannon.

Riley chose that moment to run up and stick her tongue out at him. "Meanie!"

"What did I do now?" He asked her.

"You won't dance with us!" She crossed her arms and pursed her lips together in, what he had to admit was a very adorable, pout.

When he glanced over at Rhiannon he saw that she was now mirroring her sister. He went to deny their invitation once more, but the longer he stared into their wide eyes, pouting faces, the more he found he was reluctant to deny them.

"Spirits, they really are just like their mother, aren't they?" He groaned.

"Hey now - " Shepard tried to deny it, but Kaidan merely arched a brow at her ceasing her protest.

"You have no idea," Kaidan chuckled. "Can't deny them a thing."

"Sounds familiar," Garrus grunted before allowing the girls to take his hands, carefully mindful of his claw tipped talons. They were quick to drag him off to dance.

Master manipulators, indeed.


	11. Storytime

**A/N: **Thank you so much for all your reviews, alerts, and favorites! I'm so very happy that this little adventure is so well liked; I'm also ecstatic to know I write Garrus decently well. I worried I couldn't do him justice.

Disclaimer: Garrus, Shepard, and Kaidan belong to Bioware, but the kiddies were all my idea.

* * *

"_Thank you for coming on such short notice, Garrus. Council duties call and I couldn't get a sitter." Shepard gave wry smile. "I've just laid them down for a nap. Easy peasy today, I promise." _

Garrus had known better than to believe her. Three years around Shepard's daughters had taught him that it was never easy.

The two had complained insistently about nap time, insisting they weren't tired. He caught them sneaking toys into their beds, or sneaking out of said beds, and even going so far as to hide in the closet thinking he couldn't find them.

Taking the squirming toddlers back to their beds, he huffed and knelt between the beds on his haunches. His mandibles fluttered with a half amused, half frustrated smile.

"What is it going to take to keep the two of you in bed?" He asked.

"Tell us a story!"

"Yeah, tell us a story!"

He chuckled. That was an easy enough request, given who their parents were. "On the planet Tuchanka, the great Commander Shepard was forced to confront a mighty creature, a Reaper, head on. The machine was towers tall, bigger than anything you could imagine."

"Like a giraffe?" Riley asked, staring at him with wide eyes.

"I'm not sure how tall that is, but it was taller than even that. The great Commander Shepard appeared to be outmatched." He made a drastic hand gesture with his talons to draw them in. "But that did not stop her. She charged head on, running beneath its stomping legs. She charged through brutes, and husks; nothing would stop her."

"Wow," Rhiannon breathed the word, eyes as wide as her sister's now.

"And?" Riley prompted him to continue, bouncing eagerly on her bed.

"She dodged the Reaper like a pro, made it to both the Maw hammers and struck them to call the Mother of all Thresher Maws! Out of nowhere, bam!" They jumped slightly when he made a movement to emphasize his point. "The thresher maw burst from the ground and wrapped itself around the Reaper. Wrapped around it tightly and sucked it beneath the ground. The great Commander Shepard had gone toe to toe with one of the galaxy's most dangerous creatures and walked away unscathed."

"She is amazing," Rhiannon sighed with a grin. "I wanna be like her!"

Garrus' mandibles twitched into a grin as he laughed softly. "You both are already very much like her." He got them to lay down and tucked the blankets around them. "Now will you go to sleep? A short nap, then you two can go back to terrorizing me some more."

Riley pouted. "One more story?"

"Pleeaaaaasssee?" Rhiannon added.

"Alright. _One more_, then time for your nap."

"Deal!"

"Deal!"


	12. Picture Perfect

"Garrus, Garrus!"

Riley's rather insistent voice chirped throughout the kitchen, distracting the turian from what he'd been doing. He turned to look at her, but she was gone and a moment later, she was latched to his leg.

"Garrus!"

He sighed softly, mandibles flaring wide in a grin as he lowered his gaze to her. "Yes Riley?"

"Come play with me!" She hugged his leg tighter and he had to grip the counter top with his talons to keep her from knocking him slightly off balance.

"I am trying to make you two lunch." He narrowed his eyes, then lifted them to look around the kitchen. "Speaking of – where is your sister?"

"Shhhh!" Riley put small finger in front of her lips. "It's a secret."

_That doesn't bode well, _he thought. There was one thing he had learned for sure over the last three years; silence may be golden, but when children were involved, silence was anything but – with children, silence was suspicious. He leaned down and pried Riley off his leg, lifting her into his arms.

Lowering his voice to a conspirator's whisper, he asked her, "where is your sister?" as if they were playing a game.

She giggled. "Bathroom," she whispered back.

_Definitely doesn't bode well. _He left the kitchen still carrying Riley and went down the hall toward the bathroom. The door was cracked open and he could hear the distinct sound of things being scattered about. Damn it. He really needed to learn to keep a better eye on them, but he hadn't been in the kitchen for more than five minutes at least. His used his free hand to push the door open and nearly choked when he saw Rhiannon sitting on the floor amongst the scattered bits of her mother's make up. She'd painted her face with what Shepard had called lip stick and blush.

"Hi Garrus!" Rhiannon chirped from the floor. "Am I pretty like mama?"

He couldn't help but laugh, his mandible fluttering against Riley's hair. "What do you think, Riley? She pretty like mama?"

"Yes!"

"Should we take a picture?" He whispered.

"Yes," she whispered back.

So he flared up his omni-tool and took a picture of Rhiannon's lastest art adventure. Later that night at dinner, he sent it to Shepard and Kaidan who promptly both nearly choked on their food once they saw it.

It was safe to say he and the girls had a hard time trying to halt their laughter the rest of the meal.


	13. Realization I

He could remember the first time one of the girls got hurt. At least, seriously hurt; they had had a number of scrapes, cuts, bruises, over the years, like all kids do. Then, when Riley was four, she and Rhiannon had decided to climb a tree. Of course they couldn't do it well and before Riley knew it, she'd climbed too high and couldn't get down.

Riley was the adventurous one, the exact soul match to her mother. So Garrus should have figured she would get into trouble.

This adventurous spirit made her impossibly brave, however, and she decided to jump from the tree even as Garrus went to help her down. He watched in horror as the little girl landed awkwardly, her knees instantly giving way beneath her weight with a sickening crack.

The turian had never felt so much terror than in that moment when Riley lay motionless on the grass. Not even when the Reapers were tearing their way through the galaxy, killing off worlds at a time. He ran to her as quickly as he could, stumbling in his haste.

He remembered screaming her name and lifting her up. She was unconscious when he rolled her over and took inventory of her wounds; she had a couple bruises, but it was the bone peeking out of her tiny leg, gushing blood, that made him want to be sick.

He called Shepard, gathered up Rhiannon, and literally ran to the hospital in the city, no more than a couple blocks from the park.

He paced. Continuously. Threatened each doctor who would not update him on Riley's condition because he wasn't her legal guardian or parent. Kaidan's lips were pressed firmly together, and he looked much older than he was. Shepard did as well, but she was calm, rocking and comforting an upset Rhiannon in her lap.

After what felt like an eternity, but in reality couldn't have been more than thirty minutes, they were taken to Riley's room where she is awake and happy as a clam – as humans often said – to see them. Her leg was in a cast, held up in a sling. The doctors assured them she would make a complete recovery and while they all wanted to lecture her for her lack of concern over her safety, none of them could find the heart.

Not even Garrus, who had once, with Shepard, held up and gunned down three groups of the galaxy's most infamous gangs.

In the end all he could do was sit himself beside her bed, ruffle her curls, and say, almost brokenly, "don't scare me like that again, damn it. But I am glad you are going to be okay."

Shepard laughed with tears in her eyes, but he could see that she, too, wanted to say those exact words.

"Spirits. I've really become part of this family, haven't I?" He grumbles the words, but his mandibles flare wide in a very turian like grin.

"I'm afraid so, Garrus, afraid so."


	14. Lining Up a Shot

Disclaimer: Bioware owns Garrus, and Mass Effect, but I still have fun with these. :3

* * *

"How can she possibly sleep like that?"

The question was out before he could stop himself from giving it a voice. How could he stop it? Riley was strapped in what Shepard called a child's car seat, in the back seat of the hover car they were currently traveling in. Except Riley had fallen asleep, neck craned in an odd direction, leg thrown up and over the side of the seat, arm flung over the other. It looked awkward, that was for sure.

"Children are very flexible," Shepard chuckled.

"I see that." His mandibles fluttered in amusement. He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "They do this a lot, then?" Shepard nodded. "And no ill side effects?"

"None, as far as we know; I did the same thing as a child, I'm sure."

Garrus shook his head and glanced back again, this time to see what Rhiannon was up to in her own seat, only to see that she, too, had fallen asleep. She kept herself upright somehow though, her head tilted back and mouth wide open, snoring.

"Before you ask, she's snoring." Shepard laughed softly. "Though I have to tell you, I always imaged turians snored."

Garrus had the gall to look appalled, slapping his hand against his plated chest. "We would never do something so undignified."

Shepard snorted. "Right, then I suppose the few times I caught you sleeping in the battery and heard you snoring was nothing but my overactive imagination?"

"Right," Garrus chuckled with a firm nod. "Still...would come in handy."

"What would?" Now she was genuinely confused; how could snoring come in handy?

"Awfully flexible," he muttered. "Would give me more places to hide when lining up a shot."

"You are seriously single-minded," Shepard teased.

"Damn straight. Never know when I'm going to need to line up a shot where these two are concerned. Boys and all that, you know."


	15. Party

Disclaimer: Bioware owns most of these guys. Cept for the babies!

* * *

By the spirits!

The screaming and screeching made him want to bang his head against a nearby wall. How could any being in the universe stand all this noise? His talons twitched and his mandibles tightened; where was Shepard? And Kaidan for that matter?

Oh right, they said something about getting the cake ready. After all, it was the twins' birthday and they were having a...party.

Being the kids of the great Commander Shepard meant that they weren't lacking in the friends department. In fact, it seemed as if every single kid – alien and human – from their daycare/school was in attendance.

If the noise level were any indication, that is.

He wanted to run from the room, screaming, and he had faced down Reapers with Shepard!

But when he saw how happy Riley and Rhiannon were when they blew out the candles on their massive cake, he found it in himself to stay put.

And when he saw their eyes light up after they opened his gifts, replicas of his very own Volkov sniper rifle, he was happy he did so.

Even if the amused, somewhat irritated, glances from Shepard and Kaidan made him wary.

Then the ruckus started again and he had a horrible realization – this happened _every _year.

By the spirits, _every year. _


	16. Thirteen

"Is this really such a good idea?" Shepard screamed over the noise with her hands clamped over her ears.

"Ah come on, Shepard! It's good for them!" Garrus sub-harmonics yelled back.

"I fail to see how this is good for them! They're only 6!"

"How old were you Shepard?"

"What?"

"_How old were you?_" He screamed again.

That stopped Shepard cold in her tracks. She sputtered, frowned, and folded her arms. "That was different! And it was a good thing then! We don't need it now!"

"We always need it, Shepard!"

Finally the noise stopped and they both let out a sigh of relief. They stared at each other but then Shepard shook her head. "I'm not changing my mind. These are my babies. This is different than when I was that age. I was raised in a colony, on a planet far, far from home."

The noise started up again and he yelled back, "they have to learn to shoot sometime, old friend!"

"Well not today!" She yelled as she stomped away. "_Not a day before they're thirteen!_ I didn't kill the reapers for this! I killed them for the opposite reason!"

"Shepard – isn't you who always said we should be prepared?" His mandibles fluttered in a grin; he hadn't really expected Shepard to go along with taking her daughters to the shooting range, but he always did have fun 'poking the bear' as she called it.

"_Thirteen, Garrus! __**Not a day before!**_"

His voice rumbled in a chuckle as he turned back toward the target awaiting a well placed bullet.


	17. Namesake

**A/N: **Thank you for all the love this drabble series has received. I was very uncertain at first because I did not think I could write Garrus very well. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

* * *

Garrus studied the small, unfamiliar creature carefully, his ever present, and ever honed, sniper's eye taking in every miniscule detail. The turian even went as far as to lower himself to the floor, talons pressing flat against the plush carpeting as he came eye to eye with the animal. Blue eyes, tinged with a hint of green, studied him, equally assessing and equally as curious. Its tail twitched, as did his mandible. Said mandibles pulled in tight against his face in concentration.

Finally, it seemed to grow bored, opting to reach out its thin arm and swat at his mandible when it fluttered next with his breath. He was surprised to find its paw had sharp enough claws to make the swat sting a little. He leaned up and slowly stood, a tad self conscious to find an amused Shepard standing just behind him, with giggling nieces.

"What?" he asked, almost defensively.

"Nothing, nothing." Shepard chuckled and glanced at the creature he'd been studying. "Getting to know the girls' pet, are we?"

"Its a pet?"

"A kitten, to be precise."

The creature made a high pitched noise and approached his legs, rubbing itself against them. "What is a _kitten_?" He didn't know a lot about human culture, or what they considered to be pets. He'd never heard of kitten before now.

"It's a baby cat. A mammal common on Earth," Shepard said with a shrug.

"It is...odd." He eyed the kitten and then shook his head, his mandibles fluttering wide in an exasperated grin. The grey and black, somewhat striped, creature continued to rub itself against him. An odd rumbling noise permeated from it. "What's it doing?" The last thing he wanted was to find out it was about to attack him. Not that he couldn't take it, mind you.

"That's called purring. Means he's happy." She grinned. "Can't believe you don't know what a kitten is."

He chose to ignore her remark about his lack of knowledge regarding human pets; spirits, why _would _he _need _to know? "He?" he prompted.

"Oh yes, the best part; Garrus Vakarian, meet your namesake – Garrus."

The ridge above his eyes rose with surprise. His mandibles fell open in shock. This soft, fluffy, happy kitten had been named after _him_? _Arch Angel_? "Garrus?"

Shepard grinned, absolutely pleased with herself. "What can I say, Garrus? The girls love you. I couldn't tell them no when they told me they wanted to name him after their uncle Garrus."

Lack of similarities aside(after all, he was _not _soft, or cuddly, or furry), he supposed he could let it slide. The girls looked as happy as his namesake and that's all he wanted, for them to be happy. He'd never been so attached to anyone as he was to those two little girls.

Still.

He glanced down at the kitten as it batted at Rhiannon's wiggling fingers; this would have to be the _last _time he let them get their way. Who knew what else they had in store for him, what they would name after him next if he didn't.

He shuddered at the thought.


End file.
